Sing Like a Turkey In The Rain

Contrast is defined as :  to set off in contrast : compare or appraise in respect to differences. 

As a Southern Girl,  the best way to describe contrast is "Cold as a Witches Tit" or "Hot as Hell" - those two environmental experiences which contribute to a Southern Girl achieving the sass and humidity survival instinct only akin to a Marine of sorts.  Combined with a Waffle House "bless your little heart" attitude in life while flicking away an irritating would-be-suitor as quickly as a irritating fly on a piece of apple pie.

But, back to contrast.  Have you ever experienced what every fiber of your being would refer to as "true love" and then for whatever reasons it did not work out.....and then you see the world around you through a whole different set of glasses so to speak?

Without the experience of "the real"  - the mundane and average relationship would have continued to be an acceptable option.

Welcome to the blessing and the cursing of CONTRAST !  In order to know what we do want, we have to flow from a place of knowing what we do NOT want.  

That no-man's desert land of trodding to the oasis where the real thirst of union can be quenched.  

A journey of sorts.

So, as a single woman there comes a time for survival during this desert experience.  Personally I have developed this little trick which might  help you too.

When I am feeling totally 'single' I sing "I am so beautiful......to MEEEEEEEEEE........I can SEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeEEEE....I'm everything I hoped for.......I'm ...everything I NEEEEEEEeeeeeeD....I am so beautiful......to MEEEEEEEEEE....   "   My routine is to sing at the top of my voice until I get to giggling at myself and if I'm in the shower I have to remember not to sing with my mouth open because that has choked me like a turkey in the rain before.  

So, yes......when I'm sad I just sing and then I realize my voice is worse than my problems.

Written by Debbie Kesley
First posted 10/20/12


Let It Go

Let It Go my child,
As you sense the pull of the dark emotional
Black hole that presents it’s mystical lure,
Demanding a live sacrifice
To fill it’s empty alter.

Let it go my brother,
For there is a cure that no man has known and
Only a Savior can provide.
The dark appetite is never ending
And the price could be your very soul.

Let it go my sister,
As you seek a healing place which dispenses
The darkness that rages
From a place and time untold,
Where surviving instincts took residence in your heart.

Let it go my father,
Those lost moments
With your own children because your
Child within is still trapped inside a
cartoon of horror, which knows no laughter.

Let it go my mother,
The cry for love and acceptance,
Which drowns the very
Life blood from your
Anguished soul.

Let it go my friend,
For true love will come
In a way which only loves,
Protects and cherishes
The beautiful soul of who you are.

Let it go my child within,
The dream of fixing another
Who has no desire to be fixed.
Just accept life at times for
What it is, for who it is…..

And let it go.

Written by Debbie Kesley


Human Bridge, written by Debbie Kesley

A spiritual force in a human hand that
Reaches out….. spanning and providing passage between
The barriers of one’s past toward
The excellence of their future.
The little blonde child within has
No problem maneuvering through the crowds of
Tallness around her, even when at times she
Feels small, because,

She has seen a glimpse of another
Scared, cold, lonely, frightened, lost, child
Peeking out through the eyes of
A woman on the other side.

With pig tails bouncing, and the sound of
Little red shoes tapping across the
Road that only a few have traveled ………
She smiles sweetly and reaches out a hand.

In the physical form the hand is older
Reaching from one woman to another.
The smile is still there connecting hearts
But surrounded by wrinkles of wisdom.

The Wisdom knows the journey she
Will guide this weary Traveler along
Is not a dead end street but
Rather the Road of Transformation.

And she………is a Human Bridge to that Transformation.

written by Debbie Kesley 01/27/11


Ewwwwe....what is that smell? Is it Stinkin' Thinkin'?

Last week I shared a blog called Blonde Jokes and Bossy Birds and this week I have seen some of the “seed” that I have been standing on and walking around. (seed meaning provision)  That seed is knowledge.  My daughter and I went shopping together about three years ago and she recommended a book called Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker.  I bought the book and read the first chapter, moved it several times over the last 3 years and kept it as one of  maybe twenty books that made the ‘keep pile’

Isn’t it strange how there is such a huge difference in the timing of things? For everything there is a season!  I was not ready for the wisdom and knowledge in that book three years ago; however, I have to say that when my eyes fell on it this week - it was with eyes to see, ears to hear and a mind ready to understand.  This book is going to totally change my world because I recognize the pull that it has had on my thought processes.
My past has only connected me with two people of wealth. Those two have been two of the three most hurtful experiences in my life.  Needless to say, my mind has not wrapped around the ability to see wealth connected with happiness, freedom, opportunities, or any of those experiences that have been available to me.  Like the birds in my previous blog post, that were walking on the seed and demanding food; I have blindly been walking around in circles, squawking for answers, as some sort of “Big Bird” looking goofy!

Who set my financial blueprint growing up? Who set yours? How much money is okay in your mind to have?  I have to tell you that I never realized it before reading this book but I have been, at the root of my psyche, afraid of money.  It is true.  The "No Fear" girl who has been described so many times by people as brave, strong, survivor has been scared as hell to allow money into my life and I did not even know it till this week.

A question I recently asked myself was ‘how is it that I somehow have within five dollars of precisely what I need?’  Amazingly if there was a small surplus of money in my account I would automatically assume that someone was about to get sick or I was going to have a flat tire.   That is some serious STINKIN’ THINKIN’ !!!

My stinkin’ thinkin’ in regards to money may be a bigger challenge to work through and heal from, than any other experiences in my life so far.  It is one of those feelings of knowing that if I want change – if I want to make a dream of mine for other women happen – if I want to leave a financial inheritance for my kids; then I jolly well better put on my big girl panties and heal my issues down to the root of all roots.  

It is time ……now is the time…..now.  The past is over.  The future is undetermined. But I have now.  

My thoughts, which create my feelings, which create my actions, are mine and mine alone to control. 

I do not have to live by the old voices in my head.  If I become smarter, more educated, richer and prettier than those from my past and that is not culturally accepted; then I will join a different culture, hang out with other family members or get myself some new friends!  For me, and my mind, and my future, I am going to allow healing in my past in this area. And as I am healed, I can create a more worthy future for myself and contribute in the physical realities those dreams that are held captive in my heart because of my previously crippling, paralyzing, less than God honoring - stinkin’ thinkin’.

Written by  Debbie Kesley

“From now on, as you hear yourself disastrously blaming, justifying, or complaining, cease and desist immediately.  Remind yourself that you are creating your life and that at every moment you will be attracting either success or crap into your life.  It is imperative you choose your thoughts and words wisely!”  T. Harv Eker


Blonde Jokes and Bossy Birds!!!

I love the song ‘Heart Like Mine by Miranda Lambert’  and sometimes when I let the child in me come out to play - it is like the Angels themselves giggle at the possibilities and flutter even closer because I’ve learned that Jesus/God/Spirit understands a mind like mine!

 My prayer (thought/intention) was spoken out loud during my morning quite time (meditation) and it went like this....

“God, please give me the eyes to see your cattle on a thousand hills.”   (Psalm 50:10) 

What I did NOT say, because I do eventually learn was :      “ohhhhhhhhh Goddddddddd, {booohooohooo}     I reeealy neeeeeeeeed more money {sniffle snot} and I neeeeeeeeeeed it now!  {snott, sniffle}  Oh God pleeeeaaaassssse helllllp  me. You prrrrromissed!!” {boooohoooohooooo snott, snott, sniffle, sniffle}

Why did I not pray that way? 
Because I am connecting to the thought  that I was not put upon this earth as an orphan from the Universe.  I am not separate – I am connected to the great God who created me and sustains me.  So is that force lacking? Stingy?  Ignorant to the needs of his creation? A liar who says I am his child and yet would withhold blessings?

Nope…… I tried a different approach…… standing in the knowledge that the cattle (blessings) and the land (thousands) are symbolic of the resources that are plentiful…….then maybe the problem is with my “eyes to see”?  
That is what I was thinking.

Now comes the part where the ‘bossy birds’ come in.  

Most mornings my meditation (quiet time) occurs on the front porch swing and I have little peaceful, quite bird visitors 3 feet away who join me.

On this particular morning the feeder was running low and one of my favorite birds came to make a gigantic fuss over that fact and put on quite a dramatic show; which included, getting into the cage and walking around in circles while sticking his head in the feeding holes while using loud foul- fowl words to let me know what a dreadful provider I was being. 

The thought that came to mind was “what a silly bird……..he is walking on his provision and does not even see it because he is expecting it to be fed to him the usual way.”  “He is standing on it and does not even see it.”   

My creative and funny Angel whispers “God..please give me the eyes to see my provision......you are walking in it!”

This morning I was sensing a blog post coming on and I came across this blonde joke: 

A blonde just hates M&Ms because they are sooooo hard to peel!

As I said, the Angels giggle when I become determined to hear an answer.  
My answer came in the form of a bossy bird and a blonde joke.

Answer being, - - -  the provision is here……stop walking in frantic circles looking for it…….and if it comes in a form of deliciously wrapped manner……enjoy the entire treat…..no peeling away the layers is necessary…..just eat.  
Taste and see that The Lord (The Universe/God/Jehovah/Sprit) is good and his mercies endure forever! 


This Is My Independence Day!!

"In the end, I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest."

A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity.

The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: 

If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments,


set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally,


if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue 


if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher

and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself,


the truth will not be withheld from you."

Quote from the movie Eat,Pray,Love



Do you love yourself?

Trust me when I say I was the most co-dependent person you could ever meet in my old way of thinking.  Now it is so much more enjoyable to be at a place of allowing myself to be whole – to choose loving thoughts and actions for me with less thoughts of fear.  

How many times growing up in the Bible belt South had the biblical mandate of “Love your neighbor as yourself” rang through my ears and yet the part of “as yourself” just got overlooked?  

I understand it now and that understanding has led to relationships that are so much more fulfilling!

A lesson that keeps crossing my path and has become the center of my thoughts is 

“Am I approaching this choice, this person, or this situation 

from a place of fear or of love?”

My intentions have been, and are continuing to be, re-set from a place deep within.  

This place listens to me – my feelings, my heart rate, the pit of my stomach, the set of my jaw, the muscles in my shoulders and the quality of my sleep.  

This place asks loving questions within such as: “how do you feel about this?”, “does this person speak from a place of love or of judgment?”, “is this what you want in your life?”, “do you deserve better?” “are you happy?”, “do you feel powerless in this?”  

After I stop to question myself, then comes time to address it from a place of love – love for me – as well as my ‘neighbor’.

Excuse the French, but I have to share a funny story. Recently I went to a huge country camp out party with my best friend who does not drink coffee. Well…I do….every morning. No coffee…no wakeee…and then the day goes downhill from there.  To go get coffee at the big house required a bit of time, and missing the quiet morning beside the river so I was procrastinating and had just asked him if he wanted any. Of course he made it a point to give me a hard time with some comment of if I needed coffee that badly why didn’t I make sure I brought some?  

Karma arrived in the form of a fellow camper who offered me a large coffee from his stash. Well, since I was the one who was obviously addicted to the coffee bean drug I did not consider offering my healthy friend any of the fresh hot brew.  A few minutes later he mentions that NOW he wished he had some.  At that point I offered him some of mine….he walks away …within a safe range and mumbles loud enough for me to barely hear him “that’s okay….stingy bitch.” 

He’s not the kind of person to say something like that to me so I replied “I’m sorry ….what did you say?” He turned red and repeated it with a hint of a grin.  I busted out laughing and in that wonderful  freeing moment forgot the clutch on my mouth and said “Oh my gosh! I think I just had an orgasm…….say it again!”  Now he really blushed, grinned and said it more loudly and we both just laughed.  I felt like someone had handed me the keys to a brand new car! 

Seriously……….in learning to let go of taking care of so much in life I had been referred to as a “stingy bitch” and in that moment there were no words that could have been sweeter to my ears.  He was of course just giving me a hard time but unknown to him…..those were words of healing…..deep words of healing and like a touch from heaven that reminded me I am learning to let go.

A picture is worth a thousand words, so in conclusion I want to share the first 3 years of my journey after the divorce in this photo.  Yes…..in letting go…….the weight began to come off but more importantly notice the eyes.  

Now, take a moment every day and ask your body – look in your eyes and allow the answer to come to you to the question “do you love yourself as much as you love your neighbor.”

3 year Transformation starting from right to left.

Written by Debbie Kesley


Remembering the Cocoon of Love

Safe, inviting, a place you never want to leave
Remember it and feel it now.

It is brilliant, warm and ever so peaceful!
Release does not begin to describe the sensation of
relaxation that is found in this place of belonging.
Trusting… total trust in the protective cocoon
that surrounds your very being.

Is it birth?
The first gasp of breath; the succumbing into
a new experience you have never entered into before:
the liberation from one place you have known and grown out of,
to be delivered into a new, mysterious dimension of expansion.

Is it creation?
The exhale of breath, the sexual orgasmic freeing from two
bodies that project an expansion of energy so intense
that a new life is created from that vibrational union –
releasing a new life into a cocooned womb of love.

Is it spiritual?
A transfer of Supreme, pure love so strong
it draws your breath away, as you yield into a
Presence so intense, warm and light- filled that
you never want to leave the cocoon that embraces your very soul.

Is it mystical?
Angel’s wings that enfold you after you have sobbed
your deepest, loneliest breath, before surrendering to a Higher Power;
simply to awaken later wrapped in an invisible blanket of protection 
so real you bask in it's comfort without a care in the world.

Is it death?
That exacting breath that gives up the physical suit
we call a body with all of its human limitations;
only to soar like the wind into a Spiritual form
which knows no boundaries.

Breath… release….total release before
Entering the place of presence,
where the love is most profoundly intense.
The cocoon of absolute protection where there is no place of fear
But Only of love – the purest existence of love.

Written by:
 Debbie Kesley


What if Divorce "Just Is" ??

What if divorce is not really “good” or “bad”?   
What if divorce “just is?

Six years ago I took my pathetic, broken, weepy-sad-self to the beauty shop to get my hair done.  

While setting there the cosmetologist starts the chat with “so honey……..are you married?
I replied, “I was married…….23 years.”  She asks, “to the same man?!?”
My answer, “Yes, but he has just filed for divorce.”   

She looks at me… smiles real purty… chomps her gum for a few seconds and says enthusiastically…………….

Well honey…..congratulations…..you are about to have the best time of your life!!”   and then she proceeds to drape me with the black cloth which in my mind at that moment was another death yet to come….the death of my pretty hair because obviously this lady was ‘on crack’ and I was too emotionally weak to take a stand and walk out before allowing a crazy person to do my hair.

Today I am pleased to report that she did a great job on my hair and her prediction has indeed come true! 

True,    Divorce for me was like taking my big toe nail and slowly pulling it off with no pain killer. The shock, the raw emotions, the emotional pain and the break-up of the family I had built for my entire adult life was coming to an end.

However………..I have come to believe that I can no longer define it as “bad” because the tool of Divorce has brought more “good” into my life than any single one life event ever has.

My encouragement to ladies going through a divorce now is to
view the “ending” of a marriage as the “beginning” of a new journey. 

Take the time to go through each of the Stages of Grief……get counseling…..dial a friend…..rest….do whatever it takes to find forgiveness and then begin to write your new story where you are the Creator.
What things do you want to do? Where do you want to go?  Who do you want to make time for? What is it you have never done for yourself because you were dividing your time with a spouse?

We all have the power to choose our thoughts and to direct our energies.  Those thoughts turn into actions and our actions are the basic building blocks for our life (Our Story). 

Release the old married story and think of yourself as Pure Possibility while considering the ideal that maybe 
is not 
maybe it 
“just is” 
the tool 
placed lovingly 
into your hand 
The Universe. 

That tool can be used to Build or Bash ……..  either way….
it is in your hand now 
and you are the Creator.  

See me now girlfriend…..chomping gum…..smiling real purty at you with eyes that know……..

I am saying
  Congratulations Honey!!!   
you are Pure Possibility and 
are about to create 
the time of YOUR life!

Written by  Debbie Kesley


Held Hostage by Thoughts or Other Shackles?

Part of the definition of Shackles is : anything that restrains freedom of expression or action.

What area of your life is currently holding you hostage?

Shackles come to us women in many different forms, some of which may be:
*Our past that needs to be healed.
*Emotionally or physically abusive relationships.
*Personal drugs or alcohol abuse.
*Sexual addiction.
*Lack of eduction.
*Fear of the unknown.
*Fear of failure.
*Fear of success.
*Obese shells hiding the beautiful inner self.
*The voice between our own ears.

........ the list varies from one unique individual to the next.

However, as unique women we are also innately designed with the ability to remove the shackles that have us bound.

For instance, a friend and I were talking this morning about temper. I lost mine yesterday for the first time in over 2 years and I did not like the way I felt about myself after the fact. My particular situation requires of me to occasionally lay down my silly, sunny, sweet disposition and pick up the red lipstick again. The red lipstick is the emotional tool I need to bring out the Pitbull from within myself for a little "back off buddy action". I refer to myself during those necessary standoffs as "A pitbull with lipstick."

Generally the Pitbull Within is only called upon for my personal survival rings in life. Determination is my Pitbull's name and winning is her game! If you try to put a collar, leash, fenced in yard or any other restraint on Determination to restrict her freedom of expression or action......... there is going to be a fight!

Ladies, it can be a fight that is sometimes won with one simple "NO" at a time. NO...to emotionally or abusive relationships. NO...to Sexual, drug or alcohol abuse. NO...to the voice in your head that tells you an opinion of someone else's lie.

Sometimes we can win our freedom by saying YES! YES...I owe it to myself to get counseling to let go of pain that is still requiring some healing. YES...to taking one class at a time until I have the education to make a dream come true for myself. YES...to jumping arms wide open into the world of the unknown chance of success. YES...to a job that may challenge me but take me to a world of greater wealth. YES...to walking and counting calories to really feel good in my own skin and clothes.

You and I are the not alone in this Journey called Life!

Written by  Debbie Kesley

"We come to recognize that God is unlimited in supply and that everyone has equal access." Julia Cameron


Removing the Shackles,

PS:  Movie I recommend:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0422093/  Diary of a Mad Black Woman


Feeling Of Numbness?

A scene from the movie Out Of the Woods:

[Setting.....the "crazy old Grandfather" has taken his 30 year old city-lawyer Grandson out into the woods and left him over night with the reminder of "If you were to get lost, how you find your way back"  The Grandfather excuses himself to go to the bathroom and leaves the Grandson out in the woods by himself. The Grandson finds his way back home the next morning and is livid with his Grandfather!]

Grandson: "If you are trying to kill me I wish you would go ahead and get it over with....I can't stand the suspense!"

Grandfather: "Trying to Kill you....? 

That's the last thing I was trying to do.

How did you feel last night?"

Grandpa grabs him by the blazer and yanks him forward into his face and asks "How do you feel now?"

Grandson: "What the hell are you talking about you raving lunatic?"
Grandpa slaps him across the face and grabs his shirt in both hands.... "listen..... last night you felt alive.....

you feel alive now...

last night you felt fear....

right now you are experiencing anger....

maybe for the first time you FEEL ALIVE.....

Kill you? ???

Hell....I just saved your miserable life!"

Wow...... how true that has been for God in my life. How many times have I been the Grandson in this story and how I have learned over time that "hell.....God was just saving my miserable life".......and yes.....over the last several years I have felt alive! 

I have accused my Maker of forsaking me, hurting me, not fulfilling His word to me and even hating me. 

All the while....He was just letting me die to myself, die to my preconceived ideas of what I thought was best for me and my children and most of all - dying to the image of me I thought He and the world wanted me to be.

No, the feeling of being alone and afraid was no fun. The anger that I had to work through took many months and years of counseling....many, many tears.....a few good friends and a lot of determination that I was going to only "rent" to this emotion...these feelings.
...but I absolutely refused to let it "own" a place in my heart or life. 

Funny how so many times now that I hear people are drawn to my smile.....my giggle. At times I surprise myself at how silly I can be....it bubbles over from inside of me. 

I have been to the depths of the "woods" and was mad as hell at God Himself for "leaving me there." Now I would not trade the experience for anything! 

I feel alive! 

Better yet....I am alive and able to see the deadness in others. Maybe..... just maybe a word of encouragement for them.....one moment in time when I am allowed to grab them and shake them up a little because I know that it is the only way out of the woods and I hope one day... they too might have giggles that bubble out from deep within or pray they dance like no one is watching because they really don't care if others watch... or not.....because they are dancing the dance of life!

Feeling the fire......and dancing the dance of Life......

Written by  Debbie Kesley


Ownership of Fear (or) Ownership of Faith.....that is the question.....

That statement is so simple but yet so profound .

Six years ago, in one fell statement,  I became unemployed, an empty nester, homeless, divorced and without a church family  in a decision that was totally outside of my control and influence.  Those I ate with, educated, slept with, played with, cooked for, worshiped with, cleaned up after and centered my life around were no longer in the "life as I knew it" category.

D-Day (Divorce Day) had paid an unexpected visit at my doorsteps and left a bomb that set off the last 23 years of my life. My entire adult life that is.  Gone......gone like 9-11 gone....up in smoke. Do not pass Go....do not collect $200 gone. Decision made, no discussion, no warning......just gone.

Honestly, I believed that my  strong 'Faith' would solve it all.  I even remember being so pissed-off in the shower that I challenged the devil himself to hit me with his best shot .......and he did. (not recommended for those viewers at home).

Since that time I have had to re-adjust a lot of "faith views" in my life.  My faith has been renewed to include the Right and Perfect outcome in situations - even through divorce - or even because of divorce but honestly there was still some remnant of fear that has lingered beneath the surface.

The fear of loss.

I know this because in the Universe of Restoration, my now adult kids are sometimes used as reminders that not all was truly lost.  My daughter and I have actually ended up on the same faith journey in a lot of ways and we talk about what our experiences, faith and fears are.  Recently we were having time together at a Mexican Diner and talking and she looked at me with her Empathic Abilities and said, "Mom ....do you think you have a fear of loss?"

Bingo.........she nailed it on the head......a fear that I had not even knew existed until the tears started rolling out of no where. Like a mini-near death experience and in a flash I realized that I had not taken out this emotional piece of garbage.  I saw those 23 years flash before my eyes and the loss that came with it.  That perception of reality was stinking up every positive affirmation I was working towards in my life.

The intensity of the moment surprised her as much as it did me I believe.  But we seized that moment and squeezed all the juice out of it we could.  I wanted her to write it down because I was too busy trying on my sunglasses and looking for kleenex!

"You have every right to have complete ownership of all that you desire - there is no room for fear of it being taken away because your life is so incredibly abundant!"  Kesley Faye

Those words have haunted me for the last couple of months and I find myself asking if I am making job search choices, friendship choices and life choices based out of fear or the faith of a Universe that is so incredibly abundant?

Choices out of plenty or out of want?

It changes the entire dynamics of the question of what we truly want whether we are looking at the question from a fear based lens or a faith based lens.

I want to live NO FEAR - GOT FAITH!

Written by  Debbie Kesley


The Release


The Release, A Poem for my Ex

As I have come to see people and
Situations along my path
As those experiences to
Learn from and embrace........
I see you in a different light.

And in that light of
Faith and pureness of
A plan that is bigger than
You and I ……..
I open my hands.

I open my hands to release
Any and all emotions that
Are not worthy of  
God’s blessings for you and
The Infinite’s best for me.

I open my heart to set
You free to find those
People and those experiences
That will make you the happiest you can be.

And in doing so …….with future blessings.
I release you and I release me.

Written by Debbie Kesley 01/27/11 


"Daily Affirmations" for "one of those days!"

If my little inner child ever popped out of my physical body I am sure she would look like this!  This child is precious and the message is one I look at many times :-)

This reminds me of myself except I have affirmations taped in my
bathroom , my kitchen, my vision board, my computer, my refrigerator........
well.....I do have a few years of "un-training to do!"

Honestly, today has been one of "those days" in every way, shape and form.

My plan is to breathe........just breathe............

get a good night's sleep.............

in the morning wake up and vision the day as the day I want........

and in the meanwhile......keep being grateful for everyone, and everything, that is in my life to be grateful for!

Written by  Debbie Kesley


Strength Within: Women Weebles Wobble

"Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!" 

An advertising phrase used frequently in the 1970s and a phrase used during my informative years.  Tonight, maybe I think like a lot of single ladies, single moms and those wives in a challenging economy.  Tonight I am wondering……..”am I gonna Wobble or am I gonna fall down?”

Like the Weeble Lady, I am finding my own stability from deep within myself.

I am WOMAN…..I can “bring home the bacon {du du du dom} fry it up in a pan {du du du dom}  and never, never, never let you forget your a man.......cause I'm a woman!

Where did we get the idea that we always have to wobble? 

Although I am always striving to move forward in the concepts that The Universe has enough to go around….or “just trust” …….or “every little thing is gonna be alright” …..or ...."God is Good" ......or ......“don’t worry…..be happy" ....we have inbred triggers that push us forward as women!”  

As a woman in the trenches, even as I write this article, sometimes I have to take a moment and acknowledge the Big Foot in life that comes over and kicks the crap out of Weeble Lady to see what will happen.

Like the Weeble Lady I may lose my temporary balance. I may sway from one decision to another as I find my footing again and my head may spin as I regain my focus!  However, once that focus is back, once the balance has been righted, I am again ready to stand firm and sing………………..cause I’m a woman!

However; because I am Woman I will learn to love my neighbor As MYself and I will honor my body with "me time" , healthy food and plenty of rest. And as a woman I will delegate responsibilities so my offspring can become independent great leaders. Because I am a woman I will be gentle to the man that is stepping up to the plate to lighten a load that is hard for me to carry. As a wise woman I will never feel the need to drag or carry a man along. Acknowledging the fact that I was wonderfully woven as a woman in my mother's womb; I will respect all life-giving beings. animal and human, and remember Mother Earth as the nurturing source she is.

Mostly, because I am a woman, I will probably bounce back more often than not and make the Weeble Wobble Woman proud!

Written by Debbie Kesley


That's the Rule!

"A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity...the rule of Quest Physics goes something like this:  If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting - which can be anything from a house to bitter old resentments and set out on a truth-seeking journey; either externally or internally.... 

And if you're truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that Journey as a clue .......

And if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a Teacher....

And if you are prepared, most of all, 

to face

and forgive

some very difficult realities about yourself.............

Then the Truth will not be withheld from you."                          

From the movie Eat Pray Love

Lonely Nights

Another night to face alone …..

Another television show….

Another drink.....

Another phone call…..

Another chapter in a book…..

Another walk…..

Maybe more chores. .....

Or a long bath.....

Night time…...........................

The loneliest time of all…….

For a lady alone.

Written by Debbie Kesley

Rainy Days and Rainbows

Who can say why?

Maybe because I was born under a certain sign...that sign being Pisces (the fish) that attracts me to water and the different effect that water has on me.

Stormy weather makes my adrenalin spike! Heck, just watching the movie Twister sets my sensations soaring! Being one of those strange creatures who cannot wear a watch because my chemistry burns up the batteries....not to mention that just holding a cell phone for any length of time makes it hot to the touch. .....I am intrigued as to why?

As a teenager in Alabama, I can remember that of all the times I would ride my horse...it was when I felt a storm coming that I would jump on Misty bareback and ride like the wind down the dirt road with my long hair blowing in the breeze - oblivious to anything but the awareness of being one with my horse and the journey I was on. 

Thirty years later, scarring on the front of both of my ankles testify to this statement because I literally wore the skin off with the stirrups on yet another run...this time with a saddle and yet I had no idea of the damage I was doing because I was utterly lost in the moment.

Water......it can be calming like a hot bubble bath or a dip in the pool for my city dwelling situation. However on days like today, when it is overcast with drizzling rain that comes and goes with an expectant stir in the air of a 
good storm brewing....well.....those are the days that make me
want to jump on that horse and ride like the wind.

If you were to give me the option of a nice piece of jewelry or one of those wall fountains I would  not hesitate to choose the fountain because I know it would speak something calming to my soul.

I love the sound of water flowing. A mountain stream,
a rainy day or the ocean, works wonders for my whole being.

Thinking of water ...
it seems to be intertwined with the best of times
the worst of times for me as well.

As a magnetically charged person I can remember that in my despair after my ex left me and my world as I knew it was falling apart..... I sat outside on the front steps next to a very large tree in the middle of a huge storm just daring the universe to send a lightening bolt my way! There was no distinguishing the tears flowing down my face from the rain water and being as it was night, I knew by the time I was found there would be no reviving me. So ..... hello where was the lightening bolt? Getting struck by lightening kills people every year..... it wouldn't leave behind the Scarlett "S" of suicide.....

The lightening bolt never came.......... at least not the electrical sort that zaps down from a storm cloud.

Two years later I sat at a restaurant with the man from another country that God had sent to me I believe to remind and Teach me how to laugh, dance, play and love with no abandonment. The rain came again, a slow... steady rain at first. Like the other patrons in the restaurant, we continued to eat and just watch it from the window. I was thinking how hot it had been in Georgia and how tempting it would be to play in that rain. Well, my Teacher asks one question - "do you think your dress would be not see through if wet?" I answered no and smiled inside because I knew the kid in him had instinctively heard the kid in me.That drizzle turned into a wonderful downpour - free of dangerous lightening. He calmly paid at the cash register, opened the door for me and proceeded to run through the tiny river-like flow of water rushing through the parking lot while I chased him! We jumped up and down ...splashing in the water flow like a couple of kids. We yelled and screamed and got totally soaked to the skin in that parking lot together while being watched from those "still waiting" for the rain to pass. They missed the moment...they watched as opposed to experiencing what it to this very day ...one of my most wonderful memories!

Unfortunately, I came to understand that although I do love to laugh and dance and play . . . well I need more. Once again God led me to a wilderness of sorts for seven months...but being a God of mercy He plopped me one half block from the ocean in beautiful Santa Cruz, California for this particular journey. There I would spend seven months totally alone for the most part. I would grieve the love of my most recent Teacher because it could never be more...but also have a lot of time to sit above the ocean, walk beside the ocean and think about Debbie as a whole person. The water's healing for me was once again something I needed to get in touch with myself. This time I did not play so much...but rather think, read and heal when not working.

I recently moved back full circle to the same apartment complex where I spent the first two years of my life as a single lady. In the creek behind me (I chose the property with the creek of course although it is older) there is a piece of my past in the form of a wedding band. After the divorce was final I took it , my journal and my bible down to the creek side for a prayer and a ritual of burying a piece of my life that needed to be buried. I swear to this day there were two yellow butterflies that were fluttering around each other across the creek from me. I gently tossed the wedding band into the water and turned my attention back to the butterflies who at that very moment each flew their separate ways in opposite directions. Coincidence? Naaaa.....I knew that my Lord was there with me and He had not abandoned me.

So back to The Teacher... one year has passed and we have settled into a friendship and understanding of what we were and who we are now. One day some man is going to be very thankful for the person I am now versus the shell of a person I was when The Teacher came. I was ready to welcome him on a long weekend to Tennessee to relax and see my mom and pappa since they also enjoy his company and appreciate him as "the one who brought my laughter back" as my mom says. Still, I was a little nervous because we were in a lot of ways going down memory lane and I knew that sometimes the heart can argue with the head.

As fate would have it .....another rainy day
 for this 2 1/2 hour drive through the county.
All of a sudden The Teacher spots a double rainbow and starts saying....pullover....pullover!
I did....and we both took pictures of this miracle I call....
"God giving us each our own individual rainbow, separate yet connected for a time!"

He held the umbrella for me while I snapped the camera and I held the umbrella for him as he snapped. Representing the new, sweet, respectful, caring eternal friendship of two people who God has brought individually through storm after storm, twister after twister but for what ever reason side by side in part of our journey that is sovereignly destined to journey in covenant with the Heavenly Father who has called forth the rainy days and the rainbows - even awesome double rainbows for those who believe.

So like the saying goes...some people come into our life for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime. Like the rainy days and the rainbows and the storms they each, I believe, are necessary to make us the people we become. Tonight I am sitting on the patio furniture that my X brought over in his truck...we had even had a decent conversation. My heart and head stayed in it's place with The Teacher in the adventure to and from Tennessee and I know that there is a friendship love that will stand the test of time but I also know that he is not "the one" for me and that is okay. Tonight I do not feel compelled to go to my favorite hangout and two-step but rather prefer the company of myself, my writing, a couple glasses of red wine and some jazz music on my balcony.

Here is to the next storm , rainy day, Teacher, and most certainly the Rainbows that will come our way! For me, no regrets for any of the above for they have made me who I am today and as long as I have a desire to ride a horse in the wind, get soaking wet in a Georgia downpour or sit contently with my own company and listen to jazz on a cool evening alone....then I am alive and well!

Searching for Rainbows ......

and Weathering the storms.......

for...."life is not about waiting for the storm to pass....

It is about learning to dance in the rain!"

Written by Debbie Kesley