What if divorce is not really “good” or “bad”?
What if divorce “just is”?
Six years ago I took my pathetic, broken, weepy-sad-self to the beauty shop to get my hair done.
While setting there the cosmetologist starts the chat with “so honey……..are you married?”
I replied, “I was married…….23 years.” She asks, “to the same man?!?”
My answer, “Yes, but he has just filed for divorce.”
She looks at me… smiles real purty… chomps her gum for a few seconds and says enthusiastically…………….
“Well honey…..congratulations…..you are about to have the best time of your life!!” and then she proceeds to drape me with the black cloth which in my mind at that moment was another death yet to come….the death of my pretty hair because obviously this lady was ‘on crack’ and I was too emotionally weak to take a stand and walk out before allowing a crazy person to do my hair.
Today I am pleased to report that she did a great job on my hair and her prediction has indeed come true!
True, Divorce for me was like taking my big toe nail and slowly pulling it off with no pain killer. The shock, the raw emotions, the emotional pain and the break-up of the family I had built for my entire adult life was coming to an end.
However………..I have come to believe that I can no longer define it as “bad” because the tool of Divorce has brought more “good” into my life than any single one life event ever has.
My encouragement to ladies going through a divorce now is to
view the “ending” of a marriage as the “beginning” of a new journey.
Take the time to go through each of the Stages of Grief……get counseling…..dial a friend…..rest….do whatever it takes to find forgiveness and then begin to write your new story where you are the Creator.
What things do you want to do? Where do you want to go? Who do you want to make time for? What is it you have never done for yourself because you were dividing your time with a spouse?
We all have the power to choose our thoughts and to direct our energies. Those thoughts turn into actions and our actions are the basic building blocks for our life (Our Story).
Release the old married story and think of yourself as Pure Possibility while considering the ideal that maybe
into your hand
That tool can be used to Build or Bash …….. either way….
it is in your hand now
and you are the Creator.
See me now girlfriend…..chomping gum…..smiling real purty at you with eyes that know……..
I am saying
you are Pure Possibility and
are about to create
the time of YOUR life!
Written by Debbie Kesley