That's the Rule!

"A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity...the rule of Quest Physics goes something like this:  If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting - which can be anything from a house to bitter old resentments and set out on a truth-seeking journey; either externally or internally.... 

And if you're truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that Journey as a clue .......

And if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a Teacher....

And if you are prepared, most of all, 

to face

and forgive

some very difficult realities about yourself.............

Then the Truth will not be withheld from you."                          

From the movie Eat Pray Love

Lonely Nights

Another night to face alone …..

Another television show….

Another drink.....

Another phone call…..

Another chapter in a book…..

Another walk…..

Maybe more chores. .....

Or a long bath.....

Night time…...........................

The loneliest time of all…….

For a lady alone.

Written by Debbie Kesley

Rainy Days and Rainbows

Who can say why?

Maybe because I was born under a certain sign...that sign being Pisces (the fish) that attracts me to water and the different effect that water has on me.

Stormy weather makes my adrenalin spike! Heck, just watching the movie Twister sets my sensations soaring! Being one of those strange creatures who cannot wear a watch because my chemistry burns up the batteries....not to mention that just holding a cell phone for any length of time makes it hot to the touch. .....I am intrigued as to why?

As a teenager in Alabama, I can remember that of all the times I would ride my horse...it was when I felt a storm coming that I would jump on Misty bareback and ride like the wind down the dirt road with my long hair blowing in the breeze - oblivious to anything but the awareness of being one with my horse and the journey I was on. 

Thirty years later, scarring on the front of both of my ankles testify to this statement because I literally wore the skin off with the stirrups on yet another run...this time with a saddle and yet I had no idea of the damage I was doing because I was utterly lost in the moment.

Water......it can be calming like a hot bubble bath or a dip in the pool for my city dwelling situation. However on days like today, when it is overcast with drizzling rain that comes and goes with an expectant stir in the air of a 
good storm brewing....well.....those are the days that make me
want to jump on that horse and ride like the wind.

If you were to give me the option of a nice piece of jewelry or one of those wall fountains I would  not hesitate to choose the fountain because I know it would speak something calming to my soul.

I love the sound of water flowing. A mountain stream,
a rainy day or the ocean, works wonders for my whole being.

Thinking of water ...
it seems to be intertwined with the best of times
the worst of times for me as well.

As a magnetically charged person I can remember that in my despair after my ex left me and my world as I knew it was falling apart..... I sat outside on the front steps next to a very large tree in the middle of a huge storm just daring the universe to send a lightening bolt my way! There was no distinguishing the tears flowing down my face from the rain water and being as it was night, I knew by the time I was found there would be no reviving me. So ..... hello where was the lightening bolt? Getting struck by lightening kills people every year..... it wouldn't leave behind the Scarlett "S" of suicide.....

The lightening bolt never came.......... at least not the electrical sort that zaps down from a storm cloud.

Two years later I sat at a restaurant with the man from another country that God had sent to me I believe to remind and Teach me how to laugh, dance, play and love with no abandonment. The rain came again, a slow... steady rain at first. Like the other patrons in the restaurant, we continued to eat and just watch it from the window. I was thinking how hot it had been in Georgia and how tempting it would be to play in that rain. Well, my Teacher asks one question - "do you think your dress would be not see through if wet?" I answered no and smiled inside because I knew the kid in him had instinctively heard the kid in me.That drizzle turned into a wonderful downpour - free of dangerous lightening. He calmly paid at the cash register, opened the door for me and proceeded to run through the tiny river-like flow of water rushing through the parking lot while I chased him! We jumped up and down ...splashing in the water flow like a couple of kids. We yelled and screamed and got totally soaked to the skin in that parking lot together while being watched from those "still waiting" for the rain to pass. They missed the moment...they watched as opposed to experiencing what it to this very day ...one of my most wonderful memories!

Unfortunately, I came to understand that although I do love to laugh and dance and play . . . well I need more. Once again God led me to a wilderness of sorts for seven months...but being a God of mercy He plopped me one half block from the ocean in beautiful Santa Cruz, California for this particular journey. There I would spend seven months totally alone for the most part. I would grieve the love of my most recent Teacher because it could never be more...but also have a lot of time to sit above the ocean, walk beside the ocean and think about Debbie as a whole person. The water's healing for me was once again something I needed to get in touch with myself. This time I did not play so much...but rather think, read and heal when not working.

I recently moved back full circle to the same apartment complex where I spent the first two years of my life as a single lady. In the creek behind me (I chose the property with the creek of course although it is older) there is a piece of my past in the form of a wedding band. After the divorce was final I took it , my journal and my bible down to the creek side for a prayer and a ritual of burying a piece of my life that needed to be buried. I swear to this day there were two yellow butterflies that were fluttering around each other across the creek from me. I gently tossed the wedding band into the water and turned my attention back to the butterflies who at that very moment each flew their separate ways in opposite directions. Coincidence? Naaaa.....I knew that my Lord was there with me and He had not abandoned me.

So back to The Teacher... one year has passed and we have settled into a friendship and understanding of what we were and who we are now. One day some man is going to be very thankful for the person I am now versus the shell of a person I was when The Teacher came. I was ready to welcome him on a long weekend to Tennessee to relax and see my mom and pappa since they also enjoy his company and appreciate him as "the one who brought my laughter back" as my mom says. Still, I was a little nervous because we were in a lot of ways going down memory lane and I knew that sometimes the heart can argue with the head.

As fate would have it .....another rainy day
 for this 2 1/2 hour drive through the county.
All of a sudden The Teacher spots a double rainbow and starts saying....pullover....pullover!
I did....and we both took pictures of this miracle I call....
"God giving us each our own individual rainbow, separate yet connected for a time!"

He held the umbrella for me while I snapped the camera and I held the umbrella for him as he snapped. Representing the new, sweet, respectful, caring eternal friendship of two people who God has brought individually through storm after storm, twister after twister but for what ever reason side by side in part of our journey that is sovereignly destined to journey in covenant with the Heavenly Father who has called forth the rainy days and the rainbows - even awesome double rainbows for those who believe.

So like the saying goes...some people come into our life for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime. Like the rainy days and the rainbows and the storms they each, I believe, are necessary to make us the people we become. Tonight I am sitting on the patio furniture that my X brought over in his truck...we had even had a decent conversation. My heart and head stayed in it's place with The Teacher in the adventure to and from Tennessee and I know that there is a friendship love that will stand the test of time but I also know that he is not "the one" for me and that is okay. Tonight I do not feel compelled to go to my favorite hangout and two-step but rather prefer the company of myself, my writing, a couple glasses of red wine and some jazz music on my balcony.

Here is to the next storm , rainy day, Teacher, and most certainly the Rainbows that will come our way! For me, no regrets for any of the above for they have made me who I am today and as long as I have a desire to ride a horse in the wind, get soaking wet in a Georgia downpour or sit contently with my own company and listen to jazz on a cool evening alone....then I am alive and well!

Searching for Rainbows ......

and Weathering the storms.......

for...."life is not about waiting for the storm to pass....

It is about learning to dance in the rain!"

Written by Debbie Kesley