An UnMerry Christmas

An UnMerry Christmas

The Ghosts of Christmas Pasts are attached to every  
Christmas word, song, smell and tradition.
Feeling like a knife that scrapes away little pieces of my heart,
leaving it shredded and bleeding.

The bright lights
meant to please just
hurt my eyes,
that are puffy from crying.

Crowds that once
empowered my
extroverted personality,
now leave me feeling drained.

Christmas music I used 
to hum and sing along with,
just lure me to a door on my heart
with a protective “do not enter" sign.

Smells of festive foods
bombard my memories with
meals I use to prepare
and served to loved ones.

Decorated trees have no place in my home
to stand towering - pointing branching fingers
toward loved one’s residual energy
whose physical presence can no longer be felt.

There is a time to be merry, and a time to grieve.
Grieving feels real and that’s okay for now.
To grieve does not require effort
or pretense.

It is in reality my “UnMerry Christmas.”
Please let it be what it is and help
me respect it's power to pass through my heart
and life this year without pretense.

Written by Debbie Kesley


Summer Storms in Life

Summer Storms
Making all things new in some way. 

Rain, falling freely,
A gift from the Creator.
Washing away the dust, grime and pollen
While watering the tender bamboo transplants and the strong trees standing tall.

Does rain in the physical reality possibly
Represent times in our life when out of no where
The storms blow in,
Sending us running for cover from it’s power?

Do the strong roots of those tall places within us
Soak up the power of change
Transforming it into deeper roots
Of wisdom and strength?

Do the tender, newly transplanted areas of
Our life benefit from the pounding,
Soaking aspects that makes us
Reach deeper for the roots to grow?

Summer Storms
Making all things new in some way. 

Written by Debbie Kesley  at  ccpmsblues.blogspot.com


Seeds We Sow

Photo taken by Debbie Kesley

"Sometimes the seeds we sow.............take a few drought years, rainy seasons, scorching hot times of no relief and years of question before they bloom." written by Debbie Kesley


Butterfly Emerging and Breaking Free


I feel like a monarch butterfly emerging ......right now......I'm in the "cracking open" "getting a breath of fresh air" "dizzy as hell......breaking loose from all that which squeezed the breath out of me!" sort of release. 

As freeing as it is.....and I know it is......I'm also somewhat disoriented......in taking a new form of existence to everything I've experienced as reality for a long time

Written by Debora Kesley


Joy Unspeakable


The happy, goofy smile that spreads across my face at the strangest of times.

A warm tear that spills down my cheek, representing an emotion that has no words to describe.

Hot, fire-like breath is what I breathe in... followed by the cool water, spring-like release in what I blow out.

Joy is the intellect that declares “its finally all good.”

A free-spirited  "happy dance" in my heart that sings of my release!

Touchable, like a bank statement that expresses “SAFE” or a huge bill stamped PIF !

Joy…..unspeakable joy ………the moment when all things come together for good that is definable and recognizable in the eye of the beholder.

A journey where the total contrast of despair meets joy and joy begins to have it's day at the river of life which flows within the innermost parts of my being.



Moving down steam with ease, grace, freedom and the knowing that all is well.

Like “God force” living in me and through me as the “real me” that has come home to snuggle in the lap of my Creator for a long awaited moment of peace and rest.


Joy Unspeakable.

And so it is.

Written by Debbie Kesley @  http://www.ccpmsblues.blogspot.com


Woman Rising

Woman Rising............Gracefully crossing over from the old to the new.

The winds of the old behind her and the pull of the future blowing through her hair.

She has the wings of the Spirit world guiding her 


the pull of the unknown calling her out beyond her comfort zone.

She is A Woman 

Rising .....

above the odds, 

beyond the past 

and into the future. 

She is a woman rising............

Written by Debbie Kesley

Artwork by Nathalie Villeneuve (with permission)


Power Plays...

Wonder Woman…………

.........................................................................OR.....................................Mother Teresa

Which represents true power for you? 

If you could choose…………which choice would be your choice?

Power is an amazing force for those of us who are in tune to the Universe.  Some of us may grow up without a sense of power at all.  Some of us may find ourselves in our adult lives in a place of religious doctrine which deems our thoughts as un-submissive or ungodly. 

Some of us may gain a lot of weight to shield ourselves from our authority/father figures.  Some of us may disconnect by throwing ourselves into a career or church activity.

What represents true power for you?


This past year in my personal life has been about regaining my power…..my voice….redeeming those things that were stolen from me and restoring my name and credibility. 

If you have ever been in a place of pure vulnerability and then in a place of restoration, there may come a feeling of power…..then justice…….but for me…………..now has come a feeling of responsibility, more so than ever.

I think there is a place where we need to be a Wonder Woman…….stand up….make your presence and strength known to your enemies but at that time of clear recognition we must; I believe, go back into the power inside of us for good, and become again a servant at heart to those we are drawn to in our experiences.

Personally I want to be like Wonder Woman against those that conspire to do evil against me by standing in my truth, energy, innate sense of right from wrong and always do the best I can for others; and yet never forgetting to give that best to myself.

Mother Theresa is an image of humbleness and gentleness that is never the less as powerful.  I also want to have that quality of listening to the voice of God calling me to a particular person to bring love and healing.  To influence and change the course of another human being is very powerful and sometimes it comes through the simplest acts of kindness.

What represents true power for you?


Written by Debbie Kesley