Ownership of Fear (or) Ownership of Faith.....that is the question.....

That statement is so simple but yet so profound .

Six years ago, in one fell statement,  I became unemployed, an empty nester, homeless, divorced and without a church family  in a decision that was totally outside of my control and influence.  Those I ate with, educated, slept with, played with, cooked for, worshiped with, cleaned up after and centered my life around were no longer in the "life as I knew it" category.

D-Day (Divorce Day) had paid an unexpected visit at my doorsteps and left a bomb that set off the last 23 years of my life. My entire adult life that is.  Gone......gone like 9-11 gone....up in smoke. Do not pass Go....do not collect $200 gone. Decision made, no discussion, no warning......just gone.

Honestly, I believed that my  strong 'Faith' would solve it all.  I even remember being so pissed-off in the shower that I challenged the devil himself to hit me with his best shot .......and he did. (not recommended for those viewers at home).

Since that time I have had to re-adjust a lot of "faith views" in my life.  My faith has been renewed to include the Right and Perfect outcome in situations - even through divorce - or even because of divorce but honestly there was still some remnant of fear that has lingered beneath the surface.

The fear of loss.

I know this because in the Universe of Restoration, my now adult kids are sometimes used as reminders that not all was truly lost.  My daughter and I have actually ended up on the same faith journey in a lot of ways and we talk about what our experiences, faith and fears are.  Recently we were having time together at a Mexican Diner and talking and she looked at me with her Empathic Abilities and said, "Mom ....do you think you have a fear of loss?"

Bingo.........she nailed it on the head......a fear that I had not even knew existed until the tears started rolling out of no where. Like a mini-near death experience and in a flash I realized that I had not taken out this emotional piece of garbage.  I saw those 23 years flash before my eyes and the loss that came with it.  That perception of reality was stinking up every positive affirmation I was working towards in my life.

The intensity of the moment surprised her as much as it did me I believe.  But we seized that moment and squeezed all the juice out of it we could.  I wanted her to write it down because I was too busy trying on my sunglasses and looking for kleenex!

"You have every right to have complete ownership of all that you desire - there is no room for fear of it being taken away because your life is so incredibly abundant!"  Kesley Faye

Those words have haunted me for the last couple of months and I find myself asking if I am making job search choices, friendship choices and life choices based out of fear or the faith of a Universe that is so incredibly abundant?

Choices out of plenty or out of want?

It changes the entire dynamics of the question of what we truly want whether we are looking at the question from a fear based lens or a faith based lens.

I want to live NO FEAR - GOT FAITH!

Written by  Debbie Kesley

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