Sing Like a Turkey In The Rain

Contrast is defined as :  to set off in contrast : compare or appraise in respect to differences. 

As a Southern Girl,  the best way to describe contrast is "Cold as a Witches Tit" or "Hot as Hell" - those two environmental experiences which contribute to a Southern Girl achieving the sass and humidity survival instinct only akin to a Marine of sorts.  Combined with a Waffle House "bless your little heart" attitude in life while flicking away an irritating would-be-suitor as quickly as a irritating fly on a piece of apple pie.

But, back to contrast.  Have you ever experienced what every fiber of your being would refer to as "true love" and then for whatever reasons it did not work out.....and then you see the world around you through a whole different set of glasses so to speak?

Without the experience of "the real"  - the mundane and average relationship would have continued to be an acceptable option.

Welcome to the blessing and the cursing of CONTRAST !  In order to know what we do want, we have to flow from a place of knowing what we do NOT want.  

That no-man's desert land of trodding to the oasis where the real thirst of union can be quenched.  

A journey of sorts.

So, as a single woman there comes a time for survival during this desert experience.  Personally I have developed this little trick which might  help you too.

When I am feeling totally 'single' I sing "I am so beautiful......to MEEEEEEEEEE........I can SEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeEEEE....I'm everything I hoped for.......I'm ...everything I NEEEEEEEeeeeeeD....I am so beautiful......to MEEEEEEEEEE....   "   My routine is to sing at the top of my voice until I get to giggling at myself and if I'm in the shower I have to remember not to sing with my mouth open because that has choked me like a turkey in the rain before.  

So, yes......when I'm sad I just sing and then I realize my voice is worse than my problems.


Written by Debbie Kesley
First posted 10/20/12

Let It Go

Let It Go my child,

As you sense the pull of the dark emotional

Black hole that presents it’s mystical lure,

Demanding a live sacrifice

To fill it’s empty alter.

Let it go my brother,

For there is a cure that no man has known and

Only a Savior can provide.

The dark appetite is never ending

And the price could be your very soul.

Let it go my sister,

As you seek a healing place which dispenses

The darkness that rages

From a place and time untold,

Where surviving instincts took residence in your heart.

Let it go my father,

Those lost moments

With your own children because your

Child within is still trapped inside a

cartoon of horror, which knows no laughter.

Let it go my mother,

The cry for love and acceptance,

Which drowns the very

Life blood from your

Anguished soul.

Let it go my friend,

For true love will come

In a way which only loves,

Protects and cherishes

The beautiful soul of who you are.

Let it go my child within,

The dream of fixing another

Who has no desire to be fixed.

Just accept life at times for

What it is, for who it is…..

And let it go.

Written by Debbie Kesley

Human Bridge, written by Debbie Kesley

A spiritual force in a human hand that

Reaches out….. spanning and providing passage between

The barriers of one’s past toward

The excellence of their future.

 

The little blonde child within has

No problem maneuvering through the crowds of

Tallness around her, even when at times she

Feels small, because,

She has seen a glimpse of another

Scared, cold, lonely, frightened, lost, child

Peeking out through the eyes of

A woman on the other side.

With pig tails bouncing, and the sound of

Little red shoes tapping across the

Road that only a few have traveled ………

She smiles sweetly and reaches out a hand.

In the physical form the hand is older

Reaching from one woman to another.

The smile is still there connecting hearts

But surrounded by wrinkles of wisdom.

The Wisdom knows the journey she

Will guide this weary Traveler along

Is not a dead end street but

Rather the Road of Transformation.

And she………is a Human Bridge to that Transformation.

written by Debbie Kesley 01/27/11

Ewwwwe....what is that smell? Is it Stinkin' Thinkin'?

Last week I shared a blog called Blonde Jokes and Bossy Birds and this week I have seen some of the “seed” that I have been standing on and walking around. (seed meaning provision)  That seed is knowledge.  My daughter and I went shopping together about three years ago and she recommended a book called Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker.  I bought the book and read the first chapter, moved it several times over the last 3 years and kept it as one of  maybe twenty books that made the ‘keep pile’

Isn’t it strange how there is such a huge difference in the timing of things? For everything there is a season!  I was not ready for the wisdom and knowledge in that book three years ago; however, I have to say that when my eyes fell on it this week - it was with eyes to see, ears to hear and a mind ready to understand.  This book is going to totally change my world because I recognize the pull that it has had on my thought processes.

 

My past has only connected me with two people of wealth. Those two have been two of the three most hurtful experiences in my life.  Needless to say, my mind has not wrapped around the ability to see wealth connected with happiness, freedom, opportunities, or any of those experiences that have been available to me.  Like the birds in my previous blog post, that were walking on the seed and demanding food; I have blindly been walking around in circles, squawking for answers, as some sort of “Big Bird” looking goofy!

Who set my financial blueprint growing up? Who set yours? How much money is okay in your mind to have?  I have to tell you that I never realized it before reading this book but I have been, at the root of my psyche, afraid of money.  It is true.  The "No Fear" girl who has been described so many times by people as brave, strong, survivor has been scared as hell to allow money into my life and I did not even know it till this week.

A question I recently asked myself was ‘how is it that I somehow have within five dollars of precisely what I need?’  Amazingly if there was a small surplus of money in my account I would automatically assume that someone was about to get sick or I was going to have a flat tire.   That is some serious STINKIN’ THINKIN’ !!!

My stinkin’ thinkin’ in regards to money may be a bigger challenge to work through and heal from, than any other experiences in my life so far.  It is one of those feelings of knowing that if I want change – if I want to make a dream of mine for other women happen – if I want to leave a financial inheritance for my kids; then I jolly well better put on my big girl panties and heal my issues down to the root of all roots.  

It is time ……now is the time…..now.  The past is over.  The future is undetermined. But I have now.  

My thoughts, which create my feelings, which create my actions, are mine and mine alone to control. 

I do not have to live by the old voices in my head.  If I become smarter, more educated, richer and prettier than those from my past and that is not culturally accepted; then I will join a different culture, hang out with other family members or get myself some new friends!  For me, and my mind, and my future, I am going to allow healing in my past in this area. And as I am healed, I can create a more worthy future for myself and contribute in the physical realities those dreams that are held captive in my heart because of my previously crippling, paralyzing, less than God honoring - stinkin’ thinkin’.

Written by  Debbie Kesley

“From now on, as you hear yourself disastrously blaming, justifying, or complaining, cease and desist immediately.  Remind yourself that you are creating your life and that at every moment you will be attracting either success or crap into your life.  It is imperative you choose your thoughts and words wisely!”  T. Harv Eker

Blonde Jokes and Bossy Birds!!!

I love the song ‘Heart Like Mine by Miranda Lambert’  and sometimes when I let the child in me come out to play - it is like the Angels themselves giggle at the possibilities and flutter even closer because I’ve learned that Jesus/God/Spirit understands a mind like mine!

 My prayer (thought/intention) was spoken out loud during my morning quite time (meditation) and it went like this....

“God, please give me the eyes to see your cattle on a thousand hills.”   (Psalm 50:10) 

What I did NOT say, because I do eventually learn was :      “ohhhhhhhhh Goddddddddd, {booohooohooo}     I reeealy neeeeeeeeed more money {sniffle snot} and I neeeeeeeeeeed it now!  {snott, sniffle}  Oh God pleeeeaaaassssse helllllp  me. You prrrrromissed!!” {boooohoooohooooo snott, snott, sniffle, sniffle}

Why did I not pray that way? 

Because I am connecting to the thought  that I was not put upon this earth as an orphan from the Universe.  I am not separate – I am connected to the great God who created me and sustains me.  So is that force lacking? Stingy?  Ignorant to the needs of his creation? A liar who says I am his child and yet would withhold blessings?

Nope…… I tried a different approach…… standing in the knowledge that the cattle (blessings) and the land (thousands) are symbolic of the resources that are plentiful…….then maybe the problem is with my “eyes to see”?  

That is what I was thinking.

Now comes the part where the ‘bossy birds’ come in.  

Most mornings my meditation (quiet time) occurs on the front porch swing and I have little peaceful, quite bird visitors 3 feet away who join me.

On this particular morning the feeder was running low and one of my favorite birds came to make a gigantic fuss over that fact and put on quite a dramatic show; which included, getting into the cage and walking around in circles while sticking his head in the feeding holes while using loud foul- fowl words to let me know what a dreadful provider I was being. 

The thought that came to mind was “what a silly bird……..he is walking on his provision and does not even see it because he is expecting it to be fed to him the usual way.”  “He is standing on it and does not even see it.”   

My creative and funny Angel whispers “God..please give me the eyes to see my provision......you are walking in it!”

This morning I was sensing a blog post coming on and I came across this blonde joke: 

A blonde just hates M&Ms because they are sooooo hard to peel!

As I said, the Angels giggle when I become determined to hear an answer.  

My answer came in the form of a bossy bird and a blonde joke.

Answer being, - - -  the provision is here……stop walking in frantic circles looking for it…….and if it comes in a form of deliciously wrapped manner……enjoy the entire treat…..no peeling away the layers is necessary…..just eat.  

Taste and see that The Lord (The Universe/God/Jehovah/Sprit) is good and his mercies endure forever! 

This Is My Independence Day!!

"In the end, I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest."

A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity.

The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: 


If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments,


and


set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally,


and


if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue 


and


if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher


and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself,


then


the truth will not be withheld from you."


Quote from the movie Eat,Pray,Love

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:8BwjPyxNBFIJ:www.imdb.com/title/tt0879870/+eat+pray+love+movie&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&source=www.google.com  

Do you love yourself?

Trust me when I say I was the most co-dependent person you could ever meet in my old way of thinking.  Now it is so much more enjoyable to be at a place of allowing myself to be whole – to choose loving thoughts and actions for me with less thoughts of fear.  

How many times growing up in the Bible belt South had the biblical mandate of “Love your neighbor as yourself” rang through my ears and yet the part of “as yourself” just got overlooked?  

I understand it now and that understanding has led to relationships that are so much more fulfilling!

A lesson that keeps crossing my path and has become the center of my thoughts is 

“Am I approaching this choice, this person, or this situation 

from a place of fear or of love?”

My intentions have been, and are continuing to be, re-set from a place deep within.  

This place listens to me – my feelings, my heart rate, the pit of my stomach, the set of my jaw, the muscles in my shoulders and the quality of my sleep.  

This place asks loving questions within such as: “how do you feel about this?”, “does this person speak from a place of love or of judgment?”, “is this what you want in your life?”, “do you deserve better?” “are you happy?”, “do you feel powerless in this?”  

After I stop to question myself, then comes time to address it from a place of love – love for me – as well as my ‘neighbor’.

Excuse the French, but I have to share a funny story. Recently I went to a huge country camp out party with my best friend who does not drink coffee. Well…I do….every morning. No coffee…no wakeee…and then the day goes downhill from there.  To go get coffee at the big house required a bit of time, and missing the quiet morning beside the river so I was procrastinating and had just asked him if he wanted any. Of course he made it a point to give me a hard time with some comment of if I needed coffee that badly why didn’t I make sure I brought some?  

Karma arrived in the form of a fellow camper who offered me a large coffee from his stash. Well, since I was the one who was obviously addicted to the coffee bean drug I did not consider offering my healthy friend any of the fresh hot brew.  A few minutes later he mentions that NOW he wished he had some.  At that point I offered him some of mine….he walks away …within a safe range and mumbles loud enough for me to barely hear him “that’s okay….stingy bitch.” 

He’s not the kind of person to say something like that to me so I replied “I’m sorry ….what did you say?” He turned red and repeated it with a hint of a grin.  I busted out laughing and in that wonderful  freeing moment forgot the clutch on my mouth and said “Oh my gosh! I think I just had an orgasm…….say it again!”  Now he really blushed, grinned and said it more loudly and we both just laughed.  I felt like someone had handed me the keys to a brand new car! 

Seriously……….in learning to let go of taking care of so much in life I had been referred to as a “stingy bitch” and in that moment there were no words that could have been sweeter to my ears.  He was of course just giving me a hard time but unknown to him…..those were words of healing…..deep words of healing and like a touch from heaven that reminded me I am learning to let go.

A picture is worth a thousand words, so in conclusion I want to share the first 3 years of my journey after the divorce in this photo.  Yes…..in letting go…….the weight began to come off but more importantly notice the eyes.  

Now, take a moment every day and ask your body – look in your eyes and allow the answer to come to you to the question “do you love yourself as much as you love your neighbor.”

3 year Transformation starting from right to left.

Written by Debbie Kesley