"Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one."
Brad
Paisley
This past year
may have totally SUCKED for you. Every
day to show up for work or to look for work may have been all that you could
do. Maybe you lost a loved one to death
or divorce. Maybe your body is changing
in ways that challenge your Spirit to its core.
I get that ....all of it.
Now I'm
going to let you in on a little secret.
It took me 8 years to accomplish.
I didn't eat
out, and only bought the very basic clothes for 8 years.
I did not
take dance lessons for 8 years or pay to go on a vacation of any sort.
I humbly
stayed in other friend’s and family’s homes many times for free or very little
as I looked for employment.
This 8 year
journey started the day my spouse of 23 years walked out without any
warning. My family of four that I had built
with my heart and given my entire adult life to since the age of 19, was forever
changed by the one person on the face of the earth who had sworn to love and
keep me. My personal 9-11 had blown up
around me and all I could do was cry a lot, move one of my two kids with me to
a different home, cry some more, smash some wedding china, get counseling and
get a job.
My work experience to that point had been home school wife and mother with 1 year office experience.
This 8 year journey also came smack-dab at the
beginning of the worst economy and hopes for a job America has seen in a long
time.
HEY………….THAT
WAS EASY COMPARED TO………………
Another
unexpected gift I was given.
Since age
19 I had innocently and ignorantly signed “married filing jointly” and after
the divorce I learned I was the proud co-owner of a substantial IRS debt.
And so the journey
began.
About 1 year
after the divorce I put the Kleenex box down, stopped bawling, shaking with dread and started getting in touch with
the IRS. I was innocent….surely we could
work something out…right?
Several months were spent attempting to claim Innocent Spouse Relief. I was honest….provided my banking account
information, my new job information and guess what? The IRS said “no” and went to levy my last
job and took the money from my checking account. They did stay in touch with many follow up
letters.
Next, I hired
an attorney who printed off government forms, charged me quite a bit of money
and basically said “go get ‘em Tiger”! I
invested about two solid weeks (unemployed at the time) filling out paperwork, applying
for tax records and such.
Again, I was
innocent, this was NOT my responsibility and I had a legal document honored
by the State that declared so. The IRS
said “no” and sent an IRS Officer to my door with a new package to fill out.
I called the
Officer the next day and set up an appointment to meet in Atlanta. The paper work was filled out, usually over
some wine and tissues while feeling really sorry for myself…..but I faced her
anyway. Waited for months and during
that time got rejection after rejection letter and then a payment plan option
that was ridiculous to attempt to accomplish on my earnings as an
Administrative Temp. Again, I had
honestly given them my information. This
time they said “no” and seized the money from my account and bombarded me with
nasty notes on a monthly basis.
Ah……the
choice to become better or to become bitter was a daily dose of medicine to my
soul.
I may be
honest but I am also street-smart. At
this point the realization that honesty will get you a home in a cardboard box
under a bridge when dealing with those with no integrity sank in.
Something in
me wanted to clear my name more than anything.
So began my journey of strict financial living but more than that; a
journey of the heart unfolded.
I had the
rejection of a spouse. Rejection of
interview after interview in a tough economy multiplied with the IRS literally
showing up at my door. Looking back I
honestly don’t know how I made it to fight one more time.
It took about 4 years to pull together the $3,750.00
to hire Freedom Tax Relief. And another year to save for the “Cash Offer
In Compromise.” I continued to fear that I would not get to my bank account fast enough before the IRS got to my check every pay day. I feared opening the door to
another IRS Officer. I feared my job
being levied again.
This past year between Freedom Tax Relief and the support of my best friend I went one more final round of paper work and received the Release from the debt with my Offer In Compromise.
This past year between Freedom Tax Relief and the support of my best friend I went one more final round of paper work and received the Release from the debt with my Offer In Compromise.
Was it fair
that I had to take responsibility for a debt that was not legally mine in the
moral or State of GA legal system? No.
However,
just like the Divorce, the IRS Debt was a tool that I could choose to dig my
own grave with or dig my way out of the grave I was dumped into.
I dug out
Baby!
I am
stronger and wiser than ever before. Yes,
it called for emotional journeys that I often wondered if I would make it
through. It called for demanding that
even if just in words, I would choose to speak forgiveness that was contrary to the feelings in my
heart…..somehow I would learn to forgive because my kids and I are worth
it.
It took 3
times. 3 Different Battles!
But I beat the IRS.
I won.
I’m free.
My name has been
restored.
I don’t
scare that easy any more. I even told
one fellow bullying employee that if I could survive a divorce and survive the
IRS I could survive him!
Freedom.
Release.
Strength.
Determination…..even
if it is when you say to yourself out loud “Just breath damn it!”
Choices….every
moment…..every day…..every month….year after year.
Like a
butterfly coming out of a tight cocoon, the journey squeezed me, wrapped me in
darkness, left me lonely, impaired my vision to a world of light and beauty,
and imprisoned those wings that were genetically created to fly until they were
strong enough.
Struggle ……does
not last forever.
I'm flying again! My wings are developing, getting stronger and my eyes are adjusting to the many people, places and things of beauty that can be trusted to rest on and in.
This coming
year 2014 will be the first year that I have not been a child in my parent’s
home, or the wife of a man in charge of the finances.
Tomorrow
begins the first year in my entire life that the book and the pen I have been
given are new and fresh and only my name is embossed on the cover.
As quoted by
Brad Paisley, "Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write
a good one."
Written by Debbie Kesley
