Coming Home to Self for the Holidays

As we approach that time of year when we are bombarded with Hallmark Family shows depicting a perfect family, and

commercials of happy whole families eating feasts 

while smiling lovingly between each morsel of food, 

you may roll your eyes and call "Bull Crap!"

For some of us .......the children have grown up and the spouse has moved on to find himself elsewhere and every year we have a choice to make as we bring out the decorations.  A choice much bigger than how to decorate the mantle and a tree but rather, a choice of how to cherish the old memories while growing into the new world we have arrived in.

The pictures of our "babies" bring back mothering instincts that in some cases have no outlet for a season.  Memories run around in our minds similar to an island of misfit toys, as we transition back into the reality of our "babies" are now young adults with jobs to work and other relatives to divide their time and love with.

So we can choose to demand that Father Time give us back the life we recall and become bitter ...or...we can choose to change and be happy in those changes.

I had collected an angel every year for the Christmas tree and those were replaced with Elves that are uniquely me.  The 'traditional' holiday meals that were practiced for 23 years feel like an insult to my senses now that the family unit was no more, so I do something different every year in food.  The traditional "It's A Wonderful Life" has been replaced with "Elf" and the eggnog is generously spiked with Rum now that the children are adults.

I think we each have a choice as we face the holidays.  We can attempt to manipulate and demand that those we love share a particular day on the calendar with us or we can practice the acceptance of the variety of wonderful people who cross our paths after the Big D, or after our children are grown and be happy in the moments that we are graced with others who reach out to us as we redefine who we are.   

Going home for the holidays becomes a choice of turning from depression to moving towards all that represents coming home to ourselves.  It's time to let go......let go of preconceived ideas of what makes a "Great Thanksgiving" or a "Merry Christmas" and worry more about what about what makes an awesome and joyful ME that will draw our loved ones back over time and in the meanwhile silence the accusations that Santa has left the building and things will never be the same.

It's true - things will never be the same...........but that does not mean that they are bad...just different. As we come home to our true selves through every season of our life and we choose to focus on the good in each and every situation...

then the holiday spirit will be alive and well....as will we.

Go home.....to yourself......and find your happiness there and share it with anybody and everybody who would love to receive it....and in so doing new memories are made to cherish.