26.5.13

Why Am I Doing Life the Way I Am Doing It?


True, I am nearing age 50 and maybe it is a midlife crisis so to speak; however, I cannot shake the feeling of how utterly ridiculous it is to be so excited to have 3 days this week/month/quarter in a row of life to call my own.

Seriously??

We as a society are so thrilled to be allowed 3 consecutive days of life to do with what we please. We all race out the door to bully each other off the road to pick up the kids, to rush to a wonderful weekend vacation, to come back home tired and cranky because that is the only chance we have?

Are we slaves or are we free?

I've not always had this particular journey in the work force. In my previous life I was married. I birthed, raised and homeschooled my two kids until the oldest was a senior in highschool. 

Now, as a single woman I am learning how to function in the "man's world" to earn my daily bread.  Not that I never worked....I actually got a work permit at age 14 to take my first hostessing job at Shoneys. I worked 40 hours every week of my senior year in highschool and then continued to work till my first child was born.

Those who know me know I am not a lazy person but for the most part it appears as tho most people are unhappy.....if not miserable in their jobs.  As a temp I have been in a lot of different places and been privy to several "bird's eye" views of the regulars.

So, my question is "why?"

Why am I doing life the way I am doing it?

Why are you doing life the way you are doing it?

Are you happy?  Do you have time to think, sleep, rest, walk, write, read, dance, hold a grandchild, write a song, exercise, cook a favorite dish from scratch for someone you care about?

Why do I pay outrages gas prices to drive to a high stress job that does not pay enough to live on? Why do I pay over rated prices to live in an apartment to drive to a high stress job that does not pay enough to live on?  Why do I shop at a near by grocery store that sells food to me I could grow for pennies on a dollar to have the energy to
drive to a high stress job that does not pay enough to live on, to spend another 45 min in traffic to drive home to an over priced apartment located just close enough to start the entire insanity over again.

5 out of 7 entire days of my life I exchange for this so called "privilege to have a job". 

Personally,  I feel like there has got to be a better way.

For me and my house  (Me, Myself and I) there is going to be a change.

I'm taking my life back. 

Are you?